Depressed people dating

Work on yourself first.”Essentially, I’m asking you “How does a depressed person find love in a society that believes that depressed people are not deserving of love? Once I got past the initial trauma and found my footing, the turbulence passed and I’ve been lucky enough to have smooth sailing ever since. You can appreciate all the reasons you have to live and all the blessings in your life but still not feel good about it.

But I’ve never forgotten what it was like to have that demon inside me and not be able to conquer it. This is just my long way of validating where you’re coming from: I wouldn’t wish depression on my worst enemy.

They got caught up in their own rebellion and never went to college. I was a cesspool of negativity, scattered thinking and helplessness. I didn’t even like to be around myself – why would any woman enjoy being around me?

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And while he’d never say he “regrets” having his son, I think if he were given a choice of autistic vs. Until you can get happy yourself, it would be very hard to contribute to a partner’s happiness.

It’s not that it’s impossible to find love when you’re depressed – I know of a handful of stories – and those relationships are no picnic – but objectively, there’s only a small percentage of men who are such selfless caretakers that they would choose a depressed partner over someone who doesn’t have serious mental health issues.

Some will work at something that makes no money because they love it.

Some will work in an office even though they hate commuting and being around people.

Don’t say you’re ‘depressed’ when you’re feeling sad. If we do something wrong, criticise our actions, not us as a person. You don’t need to walk on eggshells or treat us like a delicate flower. Sometimes our down moments are prompted by something, sometimes they’re not. ’ Yes, we’re perfectly aware that there are people around the world without food and shelter.

Language is powerful in itself, but a depressed person will read into what you say, take it deeply personally, and analyse it for hours until it confirms every bad thing we think about ourselves. Sometimes it gets too much and we just come along to that big party/dinner with friends/lunch with your parents. We’re not being flaky, we just don’t feel like we can do it today. Please don’t endlessly question why we’re feeling so rubbish. We can feel great and think we’ve finally got through this one day, then find ourselves in a pretty dark place (in our minds. Medication can mess things up for a bit, as can, well, just being depressed. Each reason our life is brilliant feels like a little stab in our heart, asking: ‘why aren’t you happy? We feel awful about that, and we already feel like self-obsessed oversensitive arseholes for being miserable with our comparatively brilliant lives. And we don’t need anyone confirming our belief that we’re sh*tty people.

I remember watching “A Beautiful Mind” and the feeling of frustration at not being able to think my way out of my own depression. At the same time, I wouldn’t recommend that anyone marry someone who is depressed. And frankly, I don’t think anyone “deserves” love just like I don’t think everyone “deserves” to be a millionaire.

This is not to say that depressed people are not as “deserving” of love as anyone else in the world. If I am to be objective, Kristi, we have to look at romance much in the way that we look at work.

Evan, I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I like your dating advice because it’s been quantitative and specific (rather than vague and unclear like most others’).

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