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Yes, I love beautiful women and I appreciate them in an ongoing way. I do this with anyone I find beautiful, from a small child, to men and women, to folks that are eighty years old.

Typically, the “exterior beautiful” women would trigger this belief because I had assumed they must be special and I wouldn’t have to completely let go of my fantasy.

My fantasy would then project this image onto her and I would react to that image.

I was never satisfied with my therapist’s response, so then I took it to the meditation cushion and my male friends. It’s in our DNA to want to have sex and be sexual with other human beings.

I contemplated it for many months and had many, many discussions with my male friends and mentors. We will objectify the sex we are attracted to and it’s perfectly normal and okay.

The next thing I noticed was how easily such a mysterious woman could fit into my ideal partner that I subconsciously created as a child.

This was my “Fairy Tale Fantasy” about how such an ideal women would behave and believe about herself.

In other words, for guys who have very little ability to self reflect or a limited self-awareness, they live seeing the entire world as object where they can get something, rather than seeing object as a relational interplay.

For example, marketing companies prey on men who are stuck in their animal brain.

In relationship workshops I lead, women often give the men feedback about how painful it is to be on the receiving end of their stares, looks, peeks, and glances. While some women report they are okay with it and even like it, the majority of the women I interface with are not cool with dudes staring at their body alone. Some women feel scared of it, or long for it but don’t know how to take it in, or push it away because it has come with strings in the past, or push it away because it comes with strings in the present (the other person’s need for approval, the other person’s need for something to be fulfilled in them etc.).

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